Comment gérer l’expérience de l’imposteur?

le- syndrome-de-l-imposteur

 

Souffrez-vous du syndrome de l’imposteur ?

Peut-être sans que vous le sachiez ?

Une de mes clientes, appelons-là Marie, me dit : «Je suis heureuse en couple, je suis en bonne santé, je suis ingénieur, j’ai passé tous mes diplômes, j’ai un poste important. Tout semble aller bien. Mais j’ai un problème : dans mon job, j’ai toujours l’impression que je ne suis pas à ma place et qu’on va découvrir que je n’ai pas assez de compétences. Je suis tout le temps anxieuse à l’idée qu’on découvre que je ne devrais pas être là. Comme si j’avais triché et qu’on pouvait à tout moment découvrir la vérité et le dire à tout le monde. C’est bizarre, non ?

A mon travail, je manque de confiance et d’estime de moi, j’évite le plus possible de prendre la parole pour qu’on ne se rende pas compte de mon incompétence. Je me sens mal préparée pour gérer une équipe. Je doute souvent d’être à ma vraie place.

Même en formation, quand je dois poser une question, j’ai le cœur qui se met à battre comme s’il allait sortir de ma poitrine et j’hésite à lever la main.

Quand je parle à quelqu’un que je pense supérieur à moi, plus doué ou plus compétent , je me dis tout le temps : « Est-ce que j’ai dit ce qu’il fallait ? Pourquoi m’a-t-il regardé bizarrement ? On dirait qu’il a souri, il doit penser que je suis une imbécile ! »

Je vis dans la peur latente d’être un jour démasquée, montrée du doigt comme la tricheuse que je suis en réalité. »

 Non, Marie, ce n’est pas « bizarre », et c’est plus fréquent qu’on ne croit. Cela s’appelle le syndrome de l’imposteur.

Il n'y a pas très longtemps, le PDG d'une très grosse entreprise m'a avoué en être parfois vistime. Vous voyez que cela n'a rien à voir avec la situation et les compétences réelles de la personne.

Ce sentiment est souvent éprouvé par des auto-didactes qui n'ont pas les mêmes diplômes que leurs collègues..

Ce terme a été utilisé pour la première fois en 1978 par deux psychologues, Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, pour décrire ce que ressentent des personnes qui croient qu’elles ne sont pas assez intelligentes, capables de créativité, malgré une réussite évidente et importante. Donc elles vivent dans la terreur d’être reconnues comme usurpatrices. Les recherches montrent que cela semble plus fréquent chez les femmes à haut potentiel, mais cela concerne aussi les hommes. Les chercheuses attribuent ces sentiments d’imposture et d’insécurité à l’entourage familial, aux conditions de vie dans l’enfance et par la suite, à des rôles sociaux stéréotypés.

Pour dédramatiser :

Il faut savoir que 60 à70% des gens éprouvent ce sentiment à des degrés divers et de façon ponctuelle.

Les psychologues citées ont dit elles-mêmes qu’il fallait parler d’une expérience plutôt que d’un syndrome.

Si vous vous sentez concerné (e), sachez donc que vous n’êtes pas seul(e) et que ce n’est la plupart du temps qu’une expérience passagère qui ne vous affecte pas en continu.

Beaucoup de personnes qui semblent tout réussir, vu de l’extérieur, souffrent de ce sentiment de doute sur leurs capacités.

Cela a, bien sûr à voir avec le manque d’estime de soi, dont c’est une manifestation particulière. L'histoire de Marie en est un exemple.Certains des symptômes qu'elle décrit ne sont pas propre au syndrome de l'imposteur mais se retrouvent dans la plupart des cas de manque d'estime de soi ou  de confiance en soi.

Voici quelques pistes pour gérer cet état

Ne croyez pas votre petite voix.

  • Quand elle vous affirme que vous êtes incompétent,

rappelez-vous tout ce que vous avez réussi. La chance n’a rien à voir avec la réussite.

Les gens chanceux sont des gens qui savent reconnaître et saisir les opportunités, c’est en soi une compétence.

  • Quand elle vous dit que vous ne méritez pas votre poste,

rappelez-vous que les jurys d’examen ne font pas de cadeau et que les erreurs sont exceptionnelles et généralement vérifiables.

  • Quand elle vous dit que votre employeur s’est trompé à votre sujet.

rappelez-vous que si vous avez été recruté, ce n’est pas par hasard.

Vous savez, comme moi que les recruteurs ne laissent rien au hasard et ne se fient pas aux apparences.

Faites ceci chaque fois que vous doutez :

Dites-vous qu’il n’y a aucune raison objective, que ce ne sont que des schémas mentaux et trouvez (parce que vous trouverez) immédiatement une preuve tangible extérieure, Vous avez de bons résultats, vous comprenez rapidement ce qu’on attend de vous. Vos collègues reconnaissent votre valeur. En fait, il n’y a que vous qui en doutez!

Au fur et à mesure, vous reprendrez confiance.

Dites-vous aussi qu’il est normal de douter de temps à autre, nous avons tous des moments où nous doutons pour diverses raisons : par exemple, tout de suite après un échec, quand nous sommes fatigués ou dans une situation relationnelle difficile.

L’essentiel est de ne pas laisser cet état devenir permanent. Il est nécessaire de réagir tout de suite!

Prenez l’habitude de tenir un journal de réussite :

Notez ce que vous avez réussi dans la semaine, cela rendra les choses plus réelles pour vous et vous donnera une meilleure estime de vous-même, un sens plus exact de votre valeur redonnera peu à peu confiance.

NB : dans les cas graves ou ce sentiment vous handicape et a des conséquences néfastes,en particulier dans le domaine professionnel, et si c’est trop difficile de gérer cela tout(e) seul(e),  je vous suggère de demander l’aide d’un spécialiste.

 

0 comments

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